Today was the first day of school. Preschool. TJ has been so excited about this day for so long. Me? My anxiety spiked last night, and I still haven’t been able to tame it. But this isn’t about me.

TJ woke up before 7:00 this morning. I tried to get him to go back to sleep, but he didn’t. He was too excited. He was too excited to eat his Fruity Cheerios for breakfast.

Tom and I had both stayed home from work so that we could bring TJ to school and pick him up afterwards. We got him dressed and packed his backpack with a change of clothes before heading out the door. We took some pictures outside on the lawn before we got in the car.

We got to school too early. Even after stopping to take a few more pictures like some of the other parents were doing, we got to the school door before it was opened. TJ got upset, stomping his feet in impatience. If he couldn’t go into the school, he wanted to play “in the park,” because the playground was right next to the walkway. We told him no, because we didn’t want him to get so involved in playing that he wouldn’t want to go into school, and we also didn’t want him to get dirty. It was hard for him to be patient, but he was able to calm down by the time the teacher opened the door.

TJ ran right in and made himself at home. Ms. Maureen is TJ’s head teacher; she called us last night to make sure he likes to be called TJ. She is helped by Ms. Diane and Ms. Sandy. The teachers had made name tags for all of the kids, and parents were asked to put the stickers on our children’s backs. That makes a lot of sense; I’m sure they see more of their backs than their fronts when they’re playing!

While I went to hang TJ’s backpack up on the peg with his name on it, TJ went right to the doll house. Then he moved on to the train set. Then he tried to get into a few things he shouldn’t have been touching. Then he decided to sit and color a picture of a butterfly.

When he was finished coloring, he decided to follow the lead of one of his classmates. He sat down at the computer, which was turned off. It took a little convincing to get him out of the chair. Luckily, there were a few Magna Doodles set up at the table nearby. He tried to draw on one that another kid was using, but we were able to get him to sit down with one of his own. It was at this point that he said to Tom and me, “You leave?”

Before we left, he tried running into a few rooms he didn’t belong in, but the teachers herded him out without a fuss. He’s going to give them a run for their money.

We gave him hugs and kisses, and he didn’t put up any fuss when we left. There were a few kids who were in tears, but TJ couldn’t wait to be rid of us to do his own thing.

So Mommy and Daddy went home.

I managed not to cry, but I was a mess inside. I couldn’t wait until 11:30 rolled around to pick him up.

We were told to meet him at the end of the sidewalk; the teachers would bring the kids down to us. When his class came out, TJ was leading the pack, holding his teacher’s hand. I don’t know if there’s any rhyme or reason to the order, so I don’t know if I should read anything into that.

TJ didn’t want to leave. He started stomping his feet until we let him lead us over to the dock where he fed the fish. They have a nice big fish pond, and the kids get to feed the fish every day, weather permitting, until the pond freezes over. TJ loved it.

We got him off the dock by asking him if he’d like to say goodbye to his teachers. As he gave one of them a hug, she leaned in to ask me if we were sure about his use of the potty. Apparently, he had a hard time using the potty in school. He didn’t want to stand, which I already knew, and he didn’t sit back far enough on the seat, so he ended up not going. We’ll be working on having him get himself on the potty alone before class on Tuesday.

Tom carried TJ to the car, because the boy just didn’t want to leave. (”Want to do it again!”) We headed to lunch with the grandparents, where he talked all about his day while I looked at the papers left in his backpack.

So what did he do?

The play stations for the day included train tracks, a doll house, kitchen play, Magna Doodles, and a sensory table filled with sand. They had circle time and sand the “hello song.” They had movement and music to “get the wiggles out.” They read two stories, Barney & Baby Bop Go To School and Mouse’s First Day at School. Their small groups included coloring sheets, busy buttons, and playground fun. They had a snack of pretzel sticks and apple juice. They fed the fish and sang their “googdbye song.”

Sounds like a really great day. I’m so proud of my big boy.

I almost cried tonight. It was bad enough last night when TJ decided that he only wanted to rock for about 30 seconds before he climbed into his big boy bed, and the night before when he jumped up out of my lap as soon as Daddy walked in the room - but he didn’t want to rock at all tonight.

He was sitting on the Ottoman when I came into his room, and when I sat down in the rocking chair, I had to practically beg him to come and sit with me. As soon as he climbed up on my lap, he gave me a quick hug, then said, “I’m done.”

As he started trying to climb down, I asked him what he was done with. “I’m done rocking.” He didn’t seem to care when I said I wasn’t done rocking.

“I want to go in mine big boy bed and have Daddy read three books.”
“But Daddy’s not up here yet. Why don’t you rock with me until he gets back?”
“No, I’m done rocking. I get in mine big boy bed.”

Pretending to cry had no effect on him. Reminding him that rocking with Mommy has been part of his bedtime routine for months and months had no effect on him. Daddy telling him that he was hurting Mommy’s feelings had no effect on him.

“TJ, why don’t you rock with Mommy? You hurt her feelings.”
“Yeah.”
“Did you know you hurt her feelings?”
“Yeah.”

He didn’t even want me to read to him. When I sat down next to his bed and tried, he screamed and said he wanted Daddy to read his three books to him. So I came back downstairs.

I was crushed.

I was only slightly mollified when he was prompted to call down the stairs to me and apologize for hurting my feelings. I went back upstairs to hug him, and he let me tuck him back into bed and read to him. (As long as Daddy was sitting there, too.)

It’s the end of an era. I wasn’t ready to give this up.

I created a brand new header for the blog, and I was wondering if anyone else likes it as much as I do. TJ is posing in his blue hat and his green shirt… but the graphic is quite large. Is it too big? Let me know what you think!

I thought it would be interesting to find out the top 10 mommy blogs and top 10 daddy blogs, according to Google and other sources. I searched for “mommy blog” and “daddy blog” respectively. Here is what I found:

Top 10 Mommy Blogs (Google)

1. The Mommy Blog™
2. MommyBlog
3. Blonde Mom Blog
4. ninepounddictator
5. The Ultimate Mommy Blog List * not a mommy blog, but a list of them
6. 5 Minutes For Mom
7. The Plain Jane Mom Blog
8. A Mom, a Blog, and the Life In-Between
9. Silicon Valley Moms Blog
10. Contest For Moms - Mom Blog

Top 10 Daddy Blogs (Google)

1. Daddy Types - The Weblog For New Dads
2. Daddy Forever
3. Rebel Dad
4. DaddyBlogger.com
5. Working Dad: An Unauthorized Guide to Parenting
6. Baby Daddy * no longer updated
7. Mommy Daddy Blog
8. Dad Blogs * not a daddy blog, but a list of daddy blogs
9. Daddy Dialectic
10. Daddy Brain

* A note about daddy blogs on Google: The top 10 results for “daddy blogs” on Google were not all daddy blogs, so I went to the next page to choose relevant blogs.

Top 10 Mommy Blogs (Yahoo)

1. MommyBlog
2. The Mommy Blog™
3. Pikes Peak Parent Mommy Blog
4. Mommy Blog
5. My Mommy’s Place
6. Mommy Blogs on BlogHer * a mommy blog feed from the BlogHer Network
7. Aggieland Mommy
8. Mommy Blog - 100.3 WNIC
9. The Ultimate Mommy Blog List * not a mommy blog, but a list of them
10. Mommy Daddy Blog

Top 10 Daddy Blogs (Yahoo)

1. DaddyBlogger.com
2. Mommy Daddy Blog
3. Savvy Daddy Blog
4. zygote daddy
5. The New Daddy Blog for First Time and Expecting Fathers
6. 10 Daddy Blogs You Should Read * not a daddy blog, but a list of daddy blogs
7. Daddy Types - The Weblog For New Dads
8. Daddy Rockstar
9. Organic Green Daddy
10. Working Dad: An Unauthorized Guide to Parenting

* A note about daddy blogs on Yahoo: Only 2 out of the top 10 results for “daddy blogs” on Yahoo were actual daddy blogs, so I had to the next page to choose relevant blogs. (And the next one after that! And after that!) As a matter of fact, I had to weed out a number of “adult” sites from the list.

Top 10 Mommy Blogs (Ask)

1. The Mommy Blog™
2. Mommy Matters
3. Sugar Mommy
4. MommyBlog
5. A Mommy Story * note to self: check out Haiku Fridays
6. Redneck Mommy
7. The Mommy Blogger
8. evilmommy * no longer updated
9. just another mommy blog
10. Chic Mommy

Top 10 Daddy Blogs (Ask)

1. Daddy Types - The Weblog For New Dads
2. Daddy Forever
3. Mommy Daddy Blog
4. DaddyBlogger.com
5. Daddy Dialectic
6. DJ Electric Daddy
7. Menno-Daddy
8. Home Daddy
9. CyberJazzDaddy
10. AtHomeDaddy

* A note about daddy blogs on Ask: The top 10 results for “daddy blogs” on Askwere not all daddy blogs, so I went to the next page to choose relevant blogs. Thankfully, it was nothing like the Yahoo results, but slightly more tedious than the Google results.

What Do You Think?

Do you agree with the search engines? Do you know any mommy blogs or daddy blogs that deserve to be on this list, even if they don’t get as much traffic as the ones I’ve got listed here? Leave me a comment to let me know what you think. If you’re on the list, I’d love to hear from you, too!

I receive periodic emails from the Center for Science in the Public Interest (CSPI). I got this email last week, and I thought I should share it with other parents. I know that several mom friends of mine have children with sensitivities to food dyes, and it is bound to be a problem for others as well. If the use of synthetic food dyes concerns you, I urge you to visit the link below and respond to the action alert.

Is your child’s behavior worsened by synthetic food dyes? If so, I need your help.

In June, CSPI asked the Food and Drug Administration to eliminate synthetic dyes, such as Yellow 5 and Red 40, from the food supply. Alarming new evidence shows these chemicals cause behavioral problems, such as hyperactivity, in some children.

If your child’s behavior has been affected by food dyes or has improved from eliminating synthetic colorings from his or her diet, please file a report with us about your experience here:
www.cspinet.org/fooddyes

In the U.K. and elsewhere in Europe, most multinational food companies are using natural colorings but continue to use synthetic dyes for American products. For example, in the U.K. the syrup in a McDonald’s strawberry sundae is colored with actual strawberries. In the U.S., McDonald’s uses a coal-tar-based dye, Red 40. Similarly, Nutri-Grain cereal bars, Starburst candies and Betty Crocker cake have safe, natural colorings in the U.K. but synthetic food dyes in the U.S.

The reports you file at www.cspinet.org/fooddyes will be sent periodically to the Food and Drug Administration, which regrettably continues to deny synthetic dyes cause behavioral problems in children. Unless we contact you asking permission to do otherwise, your name and contact information will be kept confidential.

Thank you for your help on this urgent issue. Please feel free to forward this message to parents of young children.

TJ’s 3 year checkup was yesterday. Because he’s always gotten so upset just walking into the exam room, we’ve been talking to him about going to the doctor’s office for months. We’ve been reading him Elmo Goes to the Doctor, and it really paid off.

We had a tear-free checkup. TJ was more than happy to take off his shoes and step on the scale. He weighs 38 pounds, though it wavered between 38 and 39 before stopping. He was a little confused when it came to standing up against the measuring tape on the wall, as he never quite straightened up properly. The nurse wrote down 37.75 inches, but I think it’s more like 38 inches. His height and weight match.

First blood pressure check ever at the pediatrician: 92/60. Apparently, that’s normal for his age. I guess it makes sense; his body is much smaller, so less pressure is needed to get blood where it needs to go.

I answered all of the nurse’s questions, and she typed everything in on a nifty laptop. That was new since our last visit; they used to use paper and a clipboard.

I stripped TJ down to his big boy boxer briefs, and the doctor came in shortly thereafter. I think that “Dr. Joyce” is really a PA, but we call her the doctor.

Dr. Joyce addressed my concerns over TJ’s pickiness. Once I told her what he’s willing to eat - chicken nuggets, macaroni and cheese, hot dogs, corn, carrots, mashed potatoes, applesauce, and yogurt - she reassured me that he is eating just fine for his age. She was a little concerned about his belly. I told her about how his grandparents (particularly my mother) love to feed him snacks, and I got doctor’s orders to cut back on the snacks. (Getting my mom to listen is another story.)

He sat calmly while Dr. Joyce examined him. He let her look in his eyes, ears, nose, and mouth without a fuss. (There’s a first time for everything!) He let her listen to his heart and lungs and feel his abdomen to check his organs. He giggled when she checked his reflexes. He walked to the door and back as she requested.

And I respected what she told him when it was time to check his private parts. (I don’t want to attract the wrong sort of traffic or contextual ads by using the proper terminology.) She told him that it was okay for a doctor to touch him there as long as Mommy is in the room. I thought that was a good way to explain that it’s sometimes okay, but doesn’t allow for any creeps to tell kids it’s okay to touch them because they’re a doctor.

So our Elmo talks helped us get through the entire physical exam. He didn’t need to get any shots, so I thought we were home free. Then she mentioned that he needed to get a finger stick, and the nurse would be back in shortly.

They wanted to re-check his lead level; this time last year, TJ had an elevated lead level of 12.3. They also wanted to get a CBC. The idea was that a finger stick is quick and easy, and we’d be out in no time.

They didn’t count on my son.

The first problem was that the young nurse was practicing her finger stick technique under the supervision of the older nurse. I held TJ in my lap, and when he saw her coming, he said, “I want to get out of here, Mommy.” When she stuck his finger, he SCREAMED.

It was heart-wrenching. He was so upset - a combination of anger and fear. He’s not used to seeing blood. He was flailing, and it was hard to keep his hand still to get the blood in the collection vial. She must’ve sat there squeezing his finger for five minutes, and she had barely gotten enough blood for one of the two vials she needed. The older nurse took over when she said she couldn’t get any more out, but she couldn’t get any more blood either.

The younger nurse took the vial to the lab to see if there was enough in there to run the test. The older nurse apologized to TJ and to me, because she had to stick another finger.

If he was upset the first time, he was enraged the second time. My heart was breaking, but I was remarkably calm on the outside. I was able to remain detached while it was happening. TJ was screaming and fighting the older nurse, and the younger nurse came back in to say that the lab couldn’t use the first sample because of a clot. So they still needed to fill two vials. She must’ve squeezed his finger for another five minutes, trying to tell him that “this part doesn’t hurt.” She sounded like she believed it, but I’ve had my finger squeezed when a finger stick didn’t provide enough blood, and it hurts! I tried singing to him to calm him, but he didn’t like it. I tried stroking his hair with my free hand, and kissing the top of his head - it was all I could do.

“Get me out of here, Mommy! I want to get out of here!”
“I’m scared!”
“It hurts! My finger hurts!”
“No thank you!”
“I want to go home!”

Then it was over, and the lab tech brought the vial back while I stood with TJ at the sink so he could run cold water on his fingers. Tears were still streaming down his face. I couldn’t wait to get him out of there, like he wanted.

Then the lab tech came back in. With reinforcements. They couldn’t use the second sample, either.

“We’ve got two options, Mom,” she told me. “We can do a venous, or we can try again another day.”

After what we’d just been through, there’s no way I could get TJ back into the doctor’s office another day. I asked her about the venous option, and she said that a lot of moms are hesitant to do it because it looks scarier, but that it it easier and faster. My first thought was why didn’t we do this in the first place? I’m not most moms. I don’t care if it “looks scary.” I know my son; if the finger stick isn’t working out, give me all the options!

So that’s what we did. I had to restrain him again, more forcefully this time. He is strong. It took three nurses to get his IV in when he was dehydrated when he was only a year old. He was furious, and he was frightened. The only good thing about that was that, once they got the needle in, the blood was flowing fast and furious. They were done in under 30 seconds. Again, why couldn’t we have done this earlier and avoided the trauma?

He wanted to run his fingers under the water again. All of the medical staff left the room so he could calm down. They gave him permission to get more than one sticker at the checkout desk. He ended up only wanting one sticker anyways, because it was actually a sticker set where you could build a banana split.

I was also given the option of filling out a survey to get a free book. In between sobs, TJ was actually calming down, and he asked for his car and his soccer ball. I gave him the two toys we’d brought with us, which contented him while I filled out the survey. It took me about a minute, evaluating our visit, and we got a really nice looking book, Growing Vegetable Soup.

It was already 11:00 by the time we left the 9:40 appointment, so we headed directly to McDonald’s for our weekly playdate. He sat on my lap and didn’t move while we waited for the grandmas to arrive. We read his new book two or three times. He was holding his arm out like an injured bird and flinching if anything touched it.

Grandma Kitty arrived first, followed several minutes after by Grandma Debbie, Great-Grandma Betty, and his friend Abby.

It wasn’t until I was in line waiting to order his Chicken McNugget Happy Meal that it all hit me. My legs turned to jelly, and I stayed upright by sheer force of will. It took quite a toll on me to remain calm and strong for my boy. But I did it.

No news is good news, as far as the blood test results are concerned. I don’t anticipate any problems with the bloodwork. And if there were, I think I would’ve heard by now.

Photo taken on May 23, 2008

TJ made it through his first night in his big boy bed without falling out, no matter how precariously he may have appeared to be balancing on the edge.

Tonight, however, we heard some coughing and a loud THUNK!

We both went upstairs to find TJ sitting on the floor with his bedspread, looking a little dazed, but generally unharmed.

“Hey, buddy.”
“Hi, Daddy.”
“Are you okay?”
“No.”

Blink.

He snuggled up against Daddy’s chest for a hug, then climbed back into bed. As we tucked him back in, he promptly pulled the sheet over his head.

I think he’s okay!

I’m waiting for the go-ahead from both my hosting company and my registrar, but pretty soon you’ll be able to get here with a much easier-to-remember URL: CutestKidEver.org! Don’t worry - the old links will still work to get you here; they’ll redirect to the new URL. But my baby isn’t a baby anymore, and it’s time for Cutest Baby Ever to grow up with him!

You’re three big years old! I can’t believe it’s been three years, and yet, I can’t remember life before you.

So much has happened, even in the last few weeks before your birthday. You’re potty trained now, with only a few accidents. You give real kisses and hugs. You say things like excuse me, please, thank you, and God bless you - without prompting. You like to pick out your own clothes. You order your own food at restaurants. You help me with the laundry. You sing songs like “The Wheels on the Bus,” “Happy Birthday,” and “Mamma Mia.”

Tonight, for the first time, you’re sleeping in your big boy bed. You picked out the sheets yourself with money that Grandpa Gene sent you. We got Cars sheets and Mickey Mouse sheets; you’re sleeping on Cars sheets tonight. I half-expect to find you in the Diego tent that Aunt Jillian bought when I go to check on you later. You were as excited about that as about the bed.

You’re such a big boy now. You’re not a baby anymore.

But you’ll always be my baby.